What. In. The. Retrograde?

Before I understood retrograde, I’d be like 90% of the people who read this blog post. There is no way that the planets can control you life, and really have no effect on your days. But let me tell you, that’s all wrong. Once I got into spirituality, and the whole world behind it, I realized that all of the little things in our universe actually are connected. Now, with that being said, I’m going to “dumb down” retrograde for you. Essentially, Mercury being in retrograde, means the planet is moving backwards in comparison to earth. The backwards movement effects day to day things, as well as big things in your life. They say that during retrograde, you’re supposed to avoid big purchases (like a car), not take a new job (or do things that would affect your money), not go on vacation (or leave your normal home space), and mainly be prepared for minor inconvenience to become a way of life. Most importantly, retrograde and the planets movements have control on your communication and technology. In other words, I’ve been living my worst life.

Honestly, if retrograde doesn’t hold any meaning for you, you’d probably just feel like you’re stuck in a bit of bad luck, but it’s not just “luck”.

So, let’s chat retrograde for Jen Fairbanks, shall we?

I got the iPhone 13 Pro on release day. My iPhone 11 had some software issues, and upon taking it into the store, we all decided that it wasn’t fixable. (Twice while on hold with support, my phone had a mental breakdown, and I thought the man in the store was going to throw my phone across the room) So, my new iPhone came on September 24th. Retrograde didn’t start until the 27th. We were all good, as I ported everything over, and didn’t even have to log-in to apps on my new phone. On Friday, October 1st, one week after having my phone, it crashed. It erased and reset it’s entire existence. My iCloud hadn’t been updated in 2021, because with the whole “freezing phone” thing, it wasn’t connecting to my account correctly, and I never worried about backing it up… Until I lost it all.

My feelings were hurt.

Today, my period started. My period ended ten days ago. My body said “we’re going to make you really sick, and we’re going to make you extremely emotional, and then guess what? Once you gain a bunch of weight, BAM! Period! Again!”

My feelings are hurt.

Back when retrograde started, my loving, sweet sweet best friend Paige was thinking about a purchase she wanted to make. Mae and I both said, “probably shouldn’t do that”. It ended with us in a little bit of a fight, and we didn’t talk for like 48 hours. Which was probably the longest we hadn’t talked in over a year.

Our feelings were hurt.

I got a new car in July. JULY. My temporary plates expired on 9/6/21. (It’s not 9/6/21 anymore) Guess what? I don’t have new plates. Now, in March 2021, I changed my name. I got a new license, and did all of the good things that Jesus and the universe said I was supposed to do in order to change my name and address. it worked, I have a new license, with my correct name and address, live moves on. I get this car, and the first week of September, I get a call from the dealership. They said the BMV (DMV in Indiana) doesn’t recognize my address, and that I don’t live there. I said “sir, I have this on a license”. Time passes, and eventually I call the BMV. The lady says that all they have in the system for me is my visit to the BMV on 1/2/21, and some address with a 40 in it. Guess what? I didn’t GO to the BMV then and I don’t even know that address!!!! She says I need to bring it mail and get a new license again, because everything wasn’t put in the last time. I said “cool, but like if I get pulled over, who’s fault is this?” She said “yours, you should have told us when you moved out of 40 whatever street” I NEVER LIVED THERE!!!!!!! Then, she has the audacity to say “Oh, we have the wrong person pulled up”.

My feelings were anger.

Also, my grandma sent me a birthday card and it got sent back.

Still, hurt feelings.

I have also been a terrible girlfriend filled with anger and sadness and a whole bunch of the blahs. Thank God for the human that loves me.

So, sure, you can say it’s just a shitty week if you want. But when you read a hundred articles about the planets, and how it’s backwards rotation affects things like technology and communication, I’m gonna go with- retrograde.

Anyways, can’t wait until October 18th when all this mess ends. Until next time!

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